In December 2021, I did something crazy.
I uprooted my entire family and relocated to Fukuoka City, Japan.
I quit my day job, shelved Gosh! Kids, and together with my beloved wife, carried our suitcases and newborn son into a country that was rampant with coronavirus.
Nothing screams crazier than that.
The situation was simple: we had no clue what we were doing. As first-time parents, we were looking for a thrill of a lifetime, hoping this city would make our dreams come true.
But before that, I was like most of you - positioned at home, holding a job with a comfortable salary, living a familiar life. Gosh! Kids was just taking off. We had secured a new studio overlooking the beautiful city, and signed big contracts with clients. We were walking on a red carpet towards a wonderful life.
But who would’ve thought I would exchange all that for a roller coaster ride in Japan.
One thing more powerful than fear.
The story of how we ended up in Fukuoka City was straightforward.
Gladys and I were offered an opportunity to be part of a community-building team of an international church organisation who had a 40 year history of developing churches globally. Japan was opening up, and there was a golden window of opportunity to enter.
Whenever I’m on the brink of making a tough decision, I’d try to convince myself that missing out on that opportunity would be more agonising than not having tried at all. It’s human psychology - we prioritise avoiding loss over gain. Studies have shown that losing $20 is two times more dreadful than the happiness of finding $20 on the floor.
The food. The weather. The culture. I feared missing out on raising my family in Japan.
So, we said yes. But that also meant we had to put everything we had on the shelf.
And the most insane thing was, we did all this for a group of strangers we’ve yet to meet. Strangers who would’ve later be part of the community we were building.
Throughout 2022, my family and I lived a life on the edge. Quite literally. We settled into a cozy little two-story beach house off Hakata Bay. Busan (Korea) was a three-hour ferry ride.
Throughout your life, you’ll make some good decisions. But there are some that are just… better or worse. But I’m thinking, what more could we have done?
The sun is rising
After becoming a parent in late 2021 and experiencing whatever I did in Japan, I finally understood what it meant to live for a purpose.
While my son was too young to comprehend his experiences, I wanted him to taste life beyond what was familiar, or at least witness what his daddy and mommy were doing.
We met up to 300+ Japanese, spent over 100+ hours planning and executing community events like photography walks, english-language conversational sessions, christian mentorship programmes and helping locals find meaning through spirituality.
This thing brought about a strange, yet powerful sense of purpose to my life.
As I distanced myself in a faraway place, my world became quiet - I could finally hear my own thoughts without the distractions of home. There, I found answers to the important questions of life: family values, career goals and life purpose.
It’s an unexplainable sensation. A kind of self actualisation I’ve never felt in my 30 years of existence. And as I discovered myself, the sun began to rise above me.
And I reckon that you have something like this too.
Maybe it has been at the back of your mind for years and you haven’t quite gotten down on it. Or maybe you’re just waiting for the right conditions - the right time, the right bank account balance, the right amount of mental preparation - before taking a step forward it. But while you’re waiting for the sun to rise, comes the dawn of the morning, signifying the time to wake up from slumber.
When it comes to maximising your life, I wonder if there’s ever a right time for anything.
Escape the waiting place
I was inspired by one of my favourite internet writers, Joseph Wells. He talked about how the deepest of lessons can be found in the simplest of stories, like Dr Seuss. It teaches you more than 12 years of school combined.
In Oh, The Places You’ll Go!, the main character drags on for miles toward the most useless place: The Waiting Place. It goes something like this:
…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
Or a bus to come, or a plane to go
Or the mail to come, or the rain to go
Or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
Or waiting around for a Yes or No
Or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
Or waiting for wind to fly a kite
Or waiting around for Friday night
Or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
Or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
Or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
Or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
Wells pulls it perfectly after reading the excerpt above:
When I read those words, I felt a twinge of sadness. Sadness for all the people in the pictures, waiting for this or that. Waiting to live their lives. Waiting because they were scared of acting. And I realised it’s sad because it’s true. It isn’t a made-up fairy-tale creation. It’s a mirror held up to reality. To the world we all inhabit. To the lives that pass us by while we’re waiting for the perfect timing. Waiting for the chances that never come.
He couldn’t be more right. I know it because he was talking about me. And I reckon he was talking about you too.
How long have you been sitting on reconciling that broken relationship with a loved one?
How long have you been saying that it’s time to apply for that position in your dream company?
How long have you been saying that you’re tired with the way things are and desire to see real change in your life?
The moment you realise your actions, no matter how small, catalyses more action, will be the moment you realise that everything is in arm’s reach. Keep in mind:
To do is better than to not.
The perfect time is an illusion.
Treat risk and reward equally.
Humans tend to give too much credit to risk while relegating the potential upsides. We fear loss over gain. That’s a terrible mindset. Fulfilment will only come when we fight our intuition, control our fears, and be courageous to defy logic.
Because the world doesn’t operate on sound reason. And so must your approach to it.
For 30 years I’ve spent time in The Waiting Place, but I liberated myself the moment I set foot in Japan, and now venturing into the deep sea of entrepreneurship. Now I know what the other side feels like. And it taste like heaven.
Experience the opposite
The zone of familiarity is a dangerous one.
Not because it’s a place of status quo, but because you’ll forever compare yourself with what you’re familiar with. It’s dangerous because you think that what’s in-front of you is all that will ever be.
You’re only as good as your measuring stick.
If you strive for a creative life of success and contentment, extend your measuring stick. Count yourself against what you consider excellence. Standing firm to what’s familiar will only breed a limited idea of what is sufficient. Talk to someone with bigger dreams than yours.
There’s always a better way of doing things.
Think about the Japanese. They are known for their remarkable (and eccentric) systems of innovation and experience. Smart toilet bidets (thank God for warm seats), seafood-flavoured Kit Kats, square watermelons?
There is no end
As Gladys and I wrapped up our community work in the winter of 2022, we let off a huge sigh of relief.
“We did it. We almost gave up, but we did it”, I told Gladys while sipping a cup of hot coffee, staring out at the massive snowstorm that was glazing the city.
Most things worked out for good. Our worries didn’t come to pass. These strangers became family, lives were transformed, and we returned home (Singapore) feeling like we’ve accomplished something big not just in our lives, but in others.
And in that moment I realised that no one will rationalise why you had to do certain things. You do it because you have to. You do it because deep down, you know it’s the only way to progress.
Sometimes I would picture an alternative scenario where we remained comfortably at home, in the waiting place. But that would make me cringe. Because there’s one thing more powerful than fear.
It’s regret.
Everyone’s called for greater. You know what you need to do. But if you don’t, please keep searching.
And that’s what Dr. Seuss was talking about on the very next page when he wrote:
NO!
That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape
All that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places
Where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping,
Once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!
The purpose of life is to experience things that we will later look back on with nostalgia, rather than regret - Anonymous.
Be well,
MBT
✍🏻 Writing Tip
✔️ Personal experiences
Stories are best served personal, and your experiences are the key ingredients. No one can deny what you’ve went through, no one can ever say that it wasn’t good enough. Tell your audience a story of what you went through, what you’ve learned, and what success looks like for you.
Be vulnerable. Open up your mind and heart as you share your story. Be straight to the point.
📸 Photography Tip
✔️ Balanced composition
The subject you’re photographing comes with weight, not in a physical sense, but in a perceptual way. The best photographs are those that are perfectly balanced on the visual scale.
It’s cliche, but I love sunsets. I love photographing it more. There are probably thousands of sunset pictures in my iPhone. There’s just something about the little ball of fire at the end of the line that inspires me every morning I walk my son along the shores of Fukuoka City.
To take the perfect sunset/sunrise photo, try this:
Ensure your gridlines are on.
Place the sun right in the middle box.
Depending on the time of the day, try your best to cut the photo in a horizontal half (halfway point). Upper half makes the sky and sun. Bottom half the ocean line.
For iPhone users (sorry Android), press and hold the point of focus on the sun and drag down the exposure level accordingly. Sunsets / sunrises are best viewed a little more underexposed than over.
Edit away. For me, I love to keep it simple. For iPhone shots, I only use the native camera app + native editing functions. But do as you wish.
Hope you’re enjoying the writing/ photography tip. Think there are better ways to do this? I loved to hear it.